"Bliss was it in that dawn to be alive
But to be young was very Heaven"
These are memorable lines from William Wordsworth's poem The Prelude.Though a reference to the French revolution is said to be implied in these lines,it makes more sense to the lines,through the words,"to be young was very Heaven."Wordsworth has come out with similar ideas,in lines like"Heaven lies about us in our infancy"and "Child is the father of man''.One's childhood and youth, become remarkable and rewarding,as the benefits of beautiful parentage. Indirectly,it also signifies the merits of parenting,towards making childhood and youth,the real heaven for one's offsprings.
We all know parenting has no set rules.Nor does it have a pocket dictionairy unfolding the right kind of vocabulary to be put into practice,for parental interaction with children.In fact,marriage itself, which was once called a sacred instituition,has now become a little more than a contractual agreement between man and woman,to carry on the conjugal routine with mutually amicable norms.As there are quite a few cases of single parents and unwed mothers,parental positions become trickier than ever. On the whole,the emotional and ethical parameters of parenting need to be often compromised,to match the mounting priorities,drifting the parenting experience.
As such,successful parenting seems to be like surface level streaming.A few decades ago,when technology boom was less overreaching,the parental environment was exposed only to peer outlooks,familial bondings and neighbourhood connections.If we go further back to the mid Nineteenth century,the most prevalent joint family orchestra and the larger family theatrical templates,made parenting a kind of traditional ritual,with values of life being passed on as spread sheets,from the family patriarch to the other members of the family hierarchy. Children grew up by themselves, imbibing the ritualistic components of life,from their seniors.But today, parenting is as much a global issue,like most other potential pressures on mankind.
The present day parenting schedule is almost like a boiling cauldron. Technology is now a monster,doctoring dos and donts,through its varied websites on all biological and psychological fundas,governing each and every human activity. Consequently,parenting undergoes a kind of website imposed,self learnt,or picked up programme, which it wants to impose on children.This includes even a dietry prescription regarding what children can eat and what they cannot.There are more fears than facts, forming the parental guidebook. Perhaps that is why,boys are advised not to be touchy and girls are tutored against the impact of good and bad touches.
Today's parents are living in the most difficult times.A child is linked to the mobile phone access,even before it retrieves itself from its mother's milk {which is generally known as the weaning period}.By the time kids step into the primary school,they know more about things,than what their parents expect them to know for their age.On the one hand,there is pride among parents about the way their children are growing up and on the other hand,they feel scary about what is dangerously in store for their wards.It is this consternation,that pulls their nerves,either as alerts or as anxieties.
From the fifth year of a child's age,the word discipline gets stuck into the parenting manuel.First of all discipline is a difficult terminology,to be validly explained and practicably understood.This is because the yardticks of disciplince change from person to person,from time to time and from place to place.Beyond this diversity in discipline, one has to find an approach,that does not either pamper or over perfect the child. Pampering creates more expecations from the child.Perfection,presupposes rigid discipline to be imposed by the parent.Both are dangerous to the positive growth of individuality in a person.
In all probability,today’s parenting markers seem to adhere to the avoidance of past lapses,a controlled absorption of present preambles,and an overtime caution against the future fissures.When I say past lapses,what I mean is,lapses seen in one's own period of grooming,in the hands of their parents.The past, present and future logins, are mostly subjective in nature.Time stipulates a chronology of experiences for every individual.Hence parenting cannot exist without comparisons and contrasts,between their parents and themselves,as parents of a new generation.
Every parent has to look back to their childhood days,while parenting their children. This retrospective approach should include in their parenting module,what all that helped them to grow up effectively and successfully,as much as,even those insignificant happenings in their childhood,that depleted the battery of their nacent energy levels.It is a timely grasp of the changing times,that would help a person towards incorporating modernity in parental approach.The talk of tradition is nothing but an irrelevant matching of times,because parenting exists purely on its contemporary base.Every child grows in tune with its own times and not based on the nostalgic reveries of its parents.
As said earlier,parenting has no universal rules or exemplary protocols.But the beauty of parenting hails from the realization of one's parental responsibilities.If parents become liabilities the quality and value of a generation is lost.Parenting is not just a genetic responsibility but is also a social obligation.It is the most vital responsibility of leaving a legacy to society and to the humanity at large. Worthy children are not mere parental assets,but are also social and global contributors.Bad children are bound to become a parental stain,a social stigma and a global burden.
Is it asking for too much from parents,to travel with the thoughts and moods of their children,as reflected by them in their conversations and actions? Is it too difficult for parents to reduce the time log of external intrusions into their children's routine, through a kind of friendly accompaniment with their times at home?Is it a burden for parents,to listen to what their children say about,what they are and what they want to become and be fellow partners in their growing process?.Course corrections will simultaneously take place,to correct the grooming cues of parents,along with the growing up clues of children.
Logically speaking,every failed child is replica of a failed parent.Similarly every demanding parent could be called a destructive parent.Above all every neglecting parent is equal to a lost parent.Wherever possible,a parent as a co passenger or a travelling companion,will make their children's life a comfortable journey to the desired destination.Why not it be like this?As every child grows with its parents,let every parent grow with their children too.This spirit of mutuality will infuse greater acceptability on either side and create a sense of belonging,experienced jointly,by parents and children.It is this sense of belonging that deftly demystifies,the real dynamism of parenting.
I would like to conclude this piece of writing with the affirmation,that most of us as parents,are already on the right path needlessly flooded with wrong fears,because parenting is always a process of instinctive warmth and imported worries.
P.Chandrasekaran
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++
No comments:
Post a Comment